How to Build your Self-Confidence

Nobody in this world is born with limitless self-confidence. Even if someone seems to have incredible self-confidence, it is because he/she has worked on building it for a long time.

“Self confidence”, as it sounds, is something that you learn to build up because the challenging world of business, and ups and downs of life in general, can deflate it.

confidence vs fear

One of the strongest setbacks that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.

Self-confidence is explained as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. it is important to your health, life and psychological well-being in general.

Having a strong level of self-confidence can help you become successful in every aspect of your life.

When you muster the strength to believe in yourself, you will be willing to try out new things. Maybe you apply for a promotion or sign up for a class, believing in yourself is the main key to putting yourself out there.

When you have enough confidence in yourself, you’re able to devote your resources to the task before you.

Rather than waste your time and energy worrying that you’re not good enough, you can simply save the stress and devote your energy to your progressive efforts. So ultimately you will start performing better when you feel confident.

For example, if you feel confident about a presentation you’re planning to make, you will focus on delivering the message to your audience in a smart way.

However, if you lack sufficient confidence in your ability to communicate, you may start to worry that no one is listening.

You might even struggle to concentrate and you may stumble over your words’ which may double your belief that you are bad at giving presentations.

Sometimes, not frequently though, I still have those fears undoubtedly.

But now I am confident I can beat them and that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I have done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success.

But fortunately, there are some things you can do to boost your self-confidence.

It doesn’t matter whether you lack confidence in one specific area or you struggle to feel confident about anything, these outlined strategies can help.

1. Recreate your self-image.

The human self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. As humans, we all have a mental picture of ourselves, and this mental picture is what determines how confident we are in ourselves. However, this picture isn’t fixed. We can decide to overwrite or change it.

As an individual, you can use your mental recreation skills, which helps you work on your self-image. If it’s not a very good one, change it and figure out why you see yourself that way and find a way to fix it.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Whether you’re the type who compare how you look to your friends on social media or you compare your salary to your friend’s income, comparing yourself to others is not healthy. In 2018, a study published found a direct link between envy and the way you feel about yourself.

Researchers have found that people who randomly compared themselves to others, experienced envy and the more envy they experience, the more inferior they felt and think about themselves. It can be a very vicious cycle.

You need to pay attention to times when you compare your age, wealth, possessions, skills, achievements, and other attributes.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Being said, Self-compassion involves treating yourself with utmost kindness when you make a mistake, fail at something, or experience a setback. Talking to yourself harshly is not a solution because it won’t motivate you to do better. In fact, more studies show bad-talking yourself tends to have a negative effect.

In 2009 a study published in the Journal of Personality has explained to us that self-compassion contributes to, and helps us get more consistent confidence.

You think: “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes,” instead of, “I’m so stupid or I ruined everything,” can help you feel good even if when you don’t actually perform as well as you hoped.

So, rather than beat yourself up or call yourself those names, why not try speaking to yourself as you would talk to a trusted friend. Get yourself some free time, laugh at yourself, and remind yourself that no one, no matter how progressive is perfect.

4. Embrace Self-Doubt

Most times, people stay away from doing things like inviting someone on a date or applying for a promotion until they feel more vibrantly confident. But we tend to forget that sometimes, the best way to gain confidence over something is by doing that thing.

You ought to practice facing some of your fears that stem from the lack of self-confidence.

Mind you, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work harder or practice. if you have a big presentation coming up, practice often in front of your friends and families so that you’ll gain more confidence.

However, you shouldn’t wait until you feel a hundred percent confident before you proceed. If you think this way, you might never get there.

5. Think positive & Kill negative thoughts.

One of the biggest things I learned when I started the long run, about five years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts “randomly anything that seems negative” with positive ones.

We are in total control of our minds.

The same way I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make/made great things happened.

It may seem like nothing important, but With this little skill, I was able to build my company and made my first million within a year. It may sound so predictable, but unbelievably this works. Seriously you will never know if you haven’t tried it.

Adding to what’s above, it’s so important that I made it a separate paragraph. You need to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thought/s you have about yourself and what you’re doing. When I was making my first blog, sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch movies.

But, soon i learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and later I taught myself a trick that changed everything in my life.

if i was coding, I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. if I’m able to catch one, I would stomp on it and squash it. Then replace it with a good/positive one. This is where the “C’mon, I can do this” takes charge.

6. Set a small goal and achieve it.

Most people often make the mistake of shooting for the moon without adequate resources, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, set your priorities for what you need most right now or for something much more achievable.

If you set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You will feel good about that.

Now set another goal and achieve that. The more you achieve smaller and medium-sized goals, the better you’ll get at it, and the better you will feel. And soon you’ll be doing better and bigger and achieving those too.

7. Focus only on solutions.

And the last point here is to make yourself a solution finder. if maybe you are a complainer or you focus too much on problems, you have to change your focus now.

Starting to focus on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your self-confidence.

If you think “you’re fat and lazy!” So how do you solve that? Why not start a fitness routine! that’s just the simple way out.

Making solutions a priority, rather than emphasizing on problems will really upgrade and boost your self-confidence.


Life isn’t balanced and that’s why everyone struggles with confidence issues at one time or another. However if your self-confidence issues interfere with your work, your social life, or your education, seek professional help. It could be a result of past traumatic events in your life.

Also, it is possible to have too much confidence (that’s being overconfident). If you’re overconfident in your abilities, you might not take action.

Most people don’t know but being overconfident about your ability to ace a test might prevent you from studying well. For example, assuming that you don’t need to practice a presentation could cause you to be unprepared. It is really important to have a healthy dose of self-confidence that helps you perform at your peak.

I hope this post helps you boost your self-confidence and hopefully that takes you to the next phase of your life.

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